


Don't let me drown

by edema_ruh



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Angst?????, Cuddling, Drowning, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, I am sorry for this, Love Confessions, M/M, Mouth-to-Mouth, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Worried Enjolras, Worry, hurt!grantaire, i think idk, light mentions of child death, mentions of Grantaire's sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 06:10:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6183769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edema_ruh/pseuds/edema_ruh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire has never learned how to swim. Maybe he should have told that to his friends before they threw him on a lake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't let me drown

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, first of all I don't know why I'm writing this, I guess it was probably out of frustration for never finding fanfictions about R drowning. I just couldn't think of any good context in which this could happen, so here we are. I hope this turns out okay, though!  
> Oh, also I don't have any specific knowledge on medicine or first aids, so there will be mistakes.

As his body sank down towards the bottom of the lake, Grantaire reconsidered his life choices. 

Really, all of this could have been avoided if he had just told his friends about his issues with swimming. They had never explicitly asked him about his sister, out of fear of his reaction, therefore Grantaire had never gone into details. All they knew was that she had drowned when she was 10 and Grantaire was 6, that he felt guilty for it (but, honestly, Grantaire felt guilty about everything, so it probably wasn’t his fault right?) and none of the amis had ever seen him swimming (though it wasn’t very common for any of them to go out together to events that required swimming). 

Except they were at an event that required swimming. 

Grantaire had never learned how to swim. His sister was trying to teach him when she drowned and died. He could have saved her life, if only he wasn’t so useless to the point of not being able to make his body float on water. No, he couldn’t get even that right. 

If only she hadn't tried to teach him. If only he hadn't asked her to. 

He hadn't thought about that for a long time, though. Only now, as he sat before the lake and stared into the dark water, was when the distant thought crossed his mind. He suppressed the shiver threatening to go down his spine and tried to pretend he wasn’t bothered by anything as he listened to Éponine talking to him and to Montparnasse. 

"… so that's why I kicked his nuts", she was saying, the first part of the story drowned out by Grantaire's thoughts. "Honestly, he had it coming". 

Montparnasse threw his head back, laughing loudly. 

"Only you, Ép", he commented, still giggling. 

"You alright, R?", Jehan asked from where they were sitting nearby, below the shadow of a tree. They were frowning a bit, noticing Grantaire's sudden discomfort. Grantaire pretended he didn’t notice the way Enjolras' gaze turned to him as Jehan spoke, and didn’t bother to stare back at the blond man. 

"Sure, I'm fine", Grantaire laughed, hoping to sound sincere. "Just a bit thoughtful, that’s all". 

"What ya thinking about, R?" Éponine teased.  

"Nothing in particular", he quickly retorted. "I guess it's just the heat, making my head fuzzy. I'll be okay". 

Montparnasse grinned. He probably didn’t mean to, but it looked terrifying. 

"I guess I know what R needs", he practically purred, wiggling his brow at Éponine. "He needs to cool his head". 

Éponine smiled, but somewhat looked uncomfortable about her boyfriend's idea. 

"Yeah, I'll just grab a cup of water", Grantaire said, getting up from where he was sitting beside Éponine. 

"Why bother? There's an entire lake over there", Montparnasse replied, getting up too. 

"I'm not even wearing a bathe suit", Grantaire said, not looking at Montparnasse and making his way to the cooler near Bahorel and Feuilly. 

"What's up, R?", Bahorel greeted. "You want anything?" 

"Yeah, water, please". 

Bahorel laughed loudly. 

"You sure about that? I have a considerable stock of beer here". 

There was a sudden presence beside Grantaire, and an arm around his shoulder. He felt terribly uncomfortable. 

"Grantaire is just trying to avoid my invitation to get into the lake. He claims to be hot, but refuses to cool down", Montparnasse purred into his ear. Leave it for the man to sound sensual in every possible situation. 

"C'mon R", Feuilly said, sounding sympathetic. "Just go for a swim, what harm can it do?" 

"None, I just want a cup of water", R said, not bothering to pretend he wasn’t annoyed anymore. 

"Let's go, Taire Bear", Montparnasse whispered as he dragged him away from Bahorel before he could grab the bottle of water. "You're too hot not to swim with me, in all possible meanings of the word". 

Grantaire tried to free his arm from Montparnasse's grasp, despite not wanting to cause a scene. If he showed his reluctance about getting inside the water, people would want to know the reason, and he really didn’t want to have to talk about his sister. 

"'Parnasse, I don’t wanna", he muttered, but the man ignored him as he kept dragging Grantaire towards the lake. 

"It's gonna be fun!", Montparnasse supplied. "See, 'Ponine is going in with us. It's going to be double fun now". 

Beside them, Éponine was taking off her shorts and readying herself to get inside the lake. The water reached Grantaire's ankles. 

"Ok, see, I'm inside the water, isn't that what you wanted?" He asked. Montparnasse kept his grip on Grantaire's arm steady, but stopped dragging him in. 

"Aw, but what fun is it to just get your ankles wet, right, Ép?" He jested. Grantaire heard Éponine laughing behind him, and suddenly her arms were around his torso, propping his body upwards as Montparnasse held his legs.  

"Let's go in for a dive, R!" She laughed, and there was no menace in her voice. She was probably just trying to get her grumpy friend to have some fun, and probably didn’t even realize what she was about to do. 

"No, guys, wait-", Grantaire was trying to protest, but it was no use. Éponine and Montparnasse were counting in unison, wiggling Grantaire's body forward and backward to get impulse. As they reached the count of three, Grantaire was sent flying ungracefully towards the lake, and his body collided with the cold water with a loud splashing sound. 

He couldn’t have imagined how deep the lake was. From where he had been standing seconds earlier, it looked like it was 3 feet deep at most. But now, as his body sank lower and lower despite his efforts to reach the surface, he realized it was way deeper. His feet could not find the bottom and gravity was pulling him downward. All Grantaire could see in the darkness was the bubbles of precious air leaving his mouth and nose. He tried to wiggle his arms and legs and prop himself up, but he could no longer understand which way was up and which way was down. It didn’t matter now anyway. His lungs were burning from the lack of air and the only discernible thought on his mind was "oh my god I need to breathe". 

Probably no more than 40 seconds had passed, but Grantaire's body had already ridden itself from all the oxygen inside it. He knew it was madness to inhale at this point, but his lungs were desperate and he no longer controlled his body's actions. He inhaled, despite of himself. 

Only water reached his lungs, increasing the burning sensation even more. His struggles intensified, hands and feet batting madly. He realized his mouth was wide open, gasping for unreachable air and only receiving water, but he couldn't bring himself to close it.  

His rushed mind was slowing down, a loud buzz behind his ears filling his head. Grantaire realized his limbs were too heavy for him to move them. He was very aware of his own heartbeat. 

His body was floating in the water, motionless. Only then he realized he was dying. 

As his consciousness finally left him, he directed his last thought to Enjolras. 

- 

"'Parnasse, wait!", Joly yelled in the exact moment Grantaire's body was thrown across the lake and hit the water.  

"Too late, doc", Montparnasse laughed. 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!" Joly screamed, running towards the lake, Bossuet right on his heels. "Oh my god, what were you thinking? Don't you know R can't swim?" 

"What?" Montparnasse asked, frowning in horror at the same time Éponine muttered "shit" and covered her mouth with her hands and Enjolras stood up abruptly, screaming "What!" 

"He can't swim!", Joly cried, pointing frantically at what Grantaire's body had disappeared. "And you just threw him in the water, someone help him!" 

Bossuet was already taking his shirt off so he could jump in after Grantaire, but Enjolras was faster. All the group could see was a blur of blonde curls and the man ran by, clothes on, and threw himself readily at the water. 

"Holy shit", Montparnasse muttered, biting his lower lip. "Sorry, I didn’t know he couldn’t swim". 

"He clearly didn’t want to go inside and you threw him anyway!" Joly yelled, trying to reach for Montparnasse. Bossuet's steady arm in front of him was the only thing keeping the young doctor from attacking the man. 

"We didn’t know-" Éponine started. 

"What great friends you are!", Joly yelled. Éponine closed her lips tightly. 

"Calm down, Joly", Bossuet said, despite being angry himself. 

"I'll calm down when I'm sure Grantaire isn't dead!" 

"He isn't dead, Enjolras is going to get him, ok? Take deep breaths", Bossuet instructed, urging his boyfriend out of the water and caressing him. 

- 

Below the water, Enjolras was looking blindingly for Grantaire.  

It was too dark for him to see, so he reached in all directions and hoped he'd manage to grab the man. Enjolras' heart was thumping madly inside his chest, fear, adrenaline and worry all mixing together.  

He had been watching Grantaire for the entire afternoon. In fact, he had been watching Grantaire for a long time before that. Ever since he figured out his feelings for the cynic, he had been watching. He couldn’t help but to. 

Grantaire was amusing. Grantaire was smart, clever, funny, he loved his friends and cared about more things than Enjolras could remember. Sure, he may be a pain in the ass when it comes to their cause, but even his snarky comments were somewhat constructive, if only to strengthen Enjolras' arguments. 

It had been Combeferre who helped him to come to terms with his feelings. And now he had been pining for Grantaire quietly, secretly. He could never let the man know about his feelings. How could he? Grantaire would never love Enjolras back, not when he clearly thought so little of the blond. Grantaire always made a point to mock Enjolras or put him down in front of everyone, there was no way he could reciprocate the leader's feelings. 

But now, as the sudden possibility of losing Grantaire forever lurked above him, he decided he didn’t care about the rejection he'd have to face. He would tell Grantaire about his feelings as soon as he had the chance. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Grantaire died without knowing how much Enjolras loved him. 

He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Grantaire died at all. 

Enjolras was about to swim back up to the surface to breathe in fresh air – his lungs were burning – when his hand came in contact with something that felt like hair. He groped it with both hands, searching in the dark, and realized he was touching a face. There was no more time to waste. He reached for Grantaire's arm and propped the both of them upwards, desperate for air. 

As they both emerged Enjolras breathed in loudly, coughing and spurting water. His heart rate picked up as soon as he realized Grantaire hadn't done the same, head lolling lifelessly against Enjolras collarbone instead. His eyelids were closed and he wasn’t breathing. Enjolras panicked, urging the man's body towards the shore. 

Suddenly there were hands pulling Grantaire away from his grasp, but Enjolras didn’t bother to look up. All he could see was Grantaire, Grantaire unconscious, Grantaire not breathing, Grantaire dead. Bossuet helped him out of the water as Joly lied Grantaire's body on the ground carefully. 

The young doctor checked for R's pulse and let out a relieved sigh before leaning over and starting to perform mouth-to-mouth. Enjolras couldn’t tell when he had fallen to his knees beside the pair, trembling hands caressing Grantaire's hair slowly as Joly tried to urge the air into his lungs. 

"C'mon, R", Joly muttered, doing chest compressions. "C'mon, just breathe". 

Joly repeated the process, to no avail. Grantaire still wasn’t breathing. 

"Please, R", Enjolras half-whispered, half-sobbed, voice cut by emotion. "Please, breathe, breathe for me". 

Joly was repeating the chest compressions, tears staining his pale face, and his face was contorting into a sob when Grantaire's back arched up, coughing up water harshly. Joly turned him on his side with Enjolras' help, and the man's body convulsed with the violence the water was being expelled from his system. Joly let his body fall back with a relieved yelp, sobbing with relief. 

Enjolras, on the other hand, got up and marched his way towards Montparnasse, punching him straight on the nose. 

Éponine looked like she wanted to complain, but she didn’t say anything. Montparnasse also kept his mouth shut, hands pressing down on his bleeding nose. 

Enjolras was back to Grantaire's side in no time, hands back to caressing his hair as the man still coughed wetly and twisting meekly on the ground. 

"It's ok, R, you're okay now", Enjolras said. Grantaire blinked his unfocused eyes open, staring at Enjolras in confusion. 

"'Jolras?" He asked. 

"Shh, don't speak, you're fine now. You're okay", Enjolras soothed. 

"I'm cold", Grantaire complained, and Enjolras pulled him into his lap, rubbing the man's arms to give him warmth. Grantaire nudged himself unconsciously towards Enjolras' arms. 

"We should take him to a hospital", Joly said, sounding panicked. 

"Alright. I'll need someone to help me to carry him to your car", Enjolras answered, but that sounded more like an order. No one dared to question it. Bahorel was by their side suddenly, helping Enjolras to lift Grantaire's half-conscious body from the ground. 

The drive to the hospital was filled with an awkward silence, Grantaire's head cradled on Enjolras' lap as the blond man caressed him soothingly. Grantaire was getting in and out of consciousness during the ride, body still trembling and curled in a fetal position. Enjolras touched the man's forehead with the back of his hand. He was freezing. 

Wasting no time, Enjolras pulled his jacket from where it was hanging on the back of the driver's seat (he had taken a ride to the lake with Joly) and put it around Grantaire's shaking arms. With one hand still carressing Grantaire's hair, Enjolras used his other to rub some warmth into the mans's arms. This must have called Grantaire's attention, because he opened his eyes sluggishly, staring at Enjolras with confusion and admiration. 

"Thank you for saving my life", Grantaire muttered, voice sounding raspy, a pale tone of red finding its way into his cheeks. 

"You're welcome", Enjolras replied, still caressing the man's curls. "Please don't scare me like that again". 

"You were scared?" Grantaire asked, frowning, eyelids dropping from tiredness. 

"Of course. I thought I would lose you", Enjolras explained, biting his lower lip at the possibility. 

"I'm not going anywhere, Apollo", Grantaire managed to chuckle. 

"Yeah. Don’t you go anywhere I can follow", Enjolras leaned over, dropping a soft kiss on Grantaire's brow. 

"I love you", Grantaire muttered, absentmindedly. 

"I love you too, R", Enjolras replied, but by the time he mustered the words, Grantaire was already fast asleep against his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this turned out okay! Sorry if any character got ooc. I tried my best! Also sorry for any mistakes, it's 1 am and I wrote this instead of sleeping. Kudos and comments are terribly appreciated, ao is constructive criticism! You can always find me on edema--ruh.tumblr.com  
> I updated the ending to make it more verisimilar.


End file.
